Touching Life: Change Takes Patience

Bruce the Cat is living his best life.

I can’t say the same for his favorite human companion. It’s been a wonderful and an exhausting month but I won’t feel at home until my brain can shift its thinking from ‘I moved to Virginia’ towards ‘I live in Virginia’. My body is here but my energy is somewhere over a cornfield in Iowa and until the two can meet this sense of being unmoored will stay with me. It’s as if there’s a glitch and my spirit is biding its time somewhere in the air between California and Crozet, like a little spinning rainbow waiting for the new software update to download. But that’s what a move is like, isn’t it? The body and the spirit need space to forge their alignment. Until then, balance and equilibrium is off kilter. Just ask my Vrksasana.

Change takes time. We know that. It might be a cross country move, a bad habit we’re trying to break or a new perspective we’re trying to find. Change takes time. And if we don’t see change for what it is – an opportunity to practice patience – then the disappointment we feel when the new conditions we’re expecting don’t arrive fast enough can mess with our head. It has definitely messed with mine. This past month – in between the excitement and moments of joy – I’ve been irritable and frustrated. I’ve lost focus. I’ve had trouble sleeping. To be clear, I haven’t once questioned our decision to relocate but the firm grip I had on the vision for my life and the purpose I knew was mine has slipped away. I don’t yet know who I am in this new home. And my brain won’t be able to transition to ‘I live in Virginia’ until all the things I can’t seem to find – including me – are found.

Change has its own rhythm. It’s own schedule. 

I need to take to heart the words I write. Change is an opportunity to practice patience.

Which means I need to stop worrying about the damaged refrigerator sitting like a monolith in the middle of my kitchen and take joy in the truth that there’s a new, undamaged refrigerator in its place. By next week it the broken monolith will be gone. By next week shelves for the garage will arrive and trying to find the car won’t require navigating a maze of cardboard. After that the boxes still unpacked will be open. And after that we’ll have a few chairs for the patio and will be able to enjoy hot tea in the cool mornings as the sun rises. I’ll begin to learn how I fit in this new place, this new world.

Until then I will continue to repeat the mantra ‘Change is an opportunity to practice patience’. And the first place I will practice patience is with myself.

5 thoughts on “Touching Life: Change Takes Patience

  1. Susan

    It takes time and there’s no way to speed up the clock. Slowly and gradually you feel like you’re at home. Hugs from all of out here in CA who care about you!

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  2. Anne

    Enjoy the rain cause pretty soon you’ll find it annoying and know we all miss you!
    Also I’d love to send you a check – I’m sure I’ve used up the last one

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  3. Kathleen

    Not trying to scare you but it took me at least a year, probably closer to two to feel like I was home. We lived in cville for two years before moving to Crozet. I felt like I had “Made in California” stamped across my forehead. Every time I drove I saw a sea of foreign looking license plates as a reminder that I was in a strange place. Virginians can be very cliquish.
    What finally made me feel settled was finding my tribe of other artists when I joined the co-op on the downtown mall. Gave me the confidence to start the depot when we bought our house in Crozet. You’ll get there. If you haven’t gone to Far Downer’s on a Friday evening for beer and burgers you should do that. You can probably walk there.

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    • I remember, too, how long it took me to find my way in Ireland…but eventually it happens. We’re still too deep into what has become a complicated move (long story) to consider actual fun but we’re looking forward to it. If the weather cooperates tomorrow we may go out to Mint Springs. Thanks for reading. Thanks for your comment. You didn’t scare me at all. In fact, you were reassuring. 😘

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  4. Jan Swan

    Change of subject (for now.) I just drove past Samyama – parking lot full of trucks and workmen. ??

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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