I’m anxious. Fidgety, clutched and giggly. In a tizzy.
This is not the state-of-mind one would associate with a yoga teacher. Yet it happens.
Anxiety happens. Because anything could happen. And isn’t it the fear and anticipation of the unknown that trips us up? Starts the spiral and spins the story? But the unknown is just that – unknown. So what’s the problem? It’s all good. As my grandmother may have joked, “Isch ga bibble!”
Yet if I had fingernails, they’d be chewed to the quick. Because my life is going to change this year.
That’s the one thing we can count on. Change. Change is constant. Each moment is new. Some moments of change, however, are more profound than others. And the anxiety and anticipation I’m experiencing is a mix of fear, joy and impending adventure.
It’s as if I’m an audience of one, waiting for the curtain to be drawn back (and hoping that I overcome my aversion to hugs and sharing circles).
On Tuesday I begin two years of study at Sofia University. In March I begin teaching at Samyama Yoga Center. Yes, I’ve mentioned my admission to Sofia and the building of Samyama in previous posts. They are small things in the course of human events. Very big things in the course of this small life.
So how am I handling the anxiety? How do you think?
Yoga. Yoga. Yoga. Breathing. Yoga. Meditating. Yoga. With a few sandbags and head wraps thrown in for good measure.
- A strong Yang practice featuring plenty of Flying Dragons to burn off the fidgets.
- A soft Yin practice to open and release.
- Restorative work featuring the placement of a sandbag on my forehead (yes, seriously).
- Meditation featuring head wraps and earplugs (yes, seriously).
And finally, embracing this time of deep change and new beginnings with a living, ‘off-the-mat, into-the-world’ daily practice – a practice that will melt rigid trepidation. A practice that will encourage blissful surrender to the unfamiliar journey I’m beginning.
As for my aversion to hugs and sharing circles? Well, that’s something for me to work on. In the meantime, Samyama’s owner John Berg offered this advice at our last staff meeting, “If someone goes in for the hug, just tell them ‘my aura is embracing your aura’. Works every time.”
And it does.