My…ahem…tens of readers will know that over the past few months I’ve attempted to take a proactive approach to self-improvement. Improving one’s ‘Self’ is unique to each individual. Some folks want to abandon bad habits; others look to be more social. If you read THIS post or THIS one, you’ll remember that I wanted to let go of my addiction to Hulu. Having already given my television to Goodwill I had slipped into the bad habit of watching Hulu from bed with the laptop perched on my belly. I hoped the hours formerly spent glued to the boob tube would now be spent reading. I went so far as to challenge myself to read one book per week.
I also wanted to create a meditation practice.
Now that winter has turned to spring, how am I doing? Just fine. Thanks for asking.
It took a bit of negotiation with my psyche and more than a little self-compassion, but I’m doing just fine.
My 21-hours per week television/Hulu addiction is down to about two or three hours per week (unless I’m house sitting – who can ignore a flat screen TV the size of a wall and surround sound???)
Did I read all the books I wanted to read? No. But I’m reading. All the time. But a little necessity called work prevented me from maintaining the breakneck pace I set for myself.
The meditation practice is blossoming. Establishing a good habit is a process of repetition. For several weeks I struggled to remember to practice. But then the corner was turned and now I miss it when my practice slips. And it does slip.
Last week was one of those weeks when I fell off the wagon. Nothing prevented me from enjoying my regular daily mediation except the story I was spinning in my head about being overwhelmed and overworked. A few days into my lapsed practice a friend turned to me and said, “You haven’t been meditating.”
How could he have noticed? How could he not have noticed?
I slipped back into regular practice the next day.
We make choices about how we want to live our lives. We set goals, we plot a course. We hope.
And then life happens. Extraordinary, brilliant, tragic, wonderful life.
Sometimes we fall. Sometimes we need to change course. But always we pick ourselves back up and head into the wind. And then we soar.
And that’s how I’m doing.