I’m about ten days into the Great Online Dating Experiment of 2011 and I have to tell you – it’s not going so well. Let me rephrase that: it’s going slower than I expected. After three days of inappropriate matches from the folks at eHarmony – who seem under the impression that I would be interested in seventy-year-old men whose dream vacation is a Donny and Marie Concert in Branson, Missouri – I signed up with OKCupid. I mean no offense to older men, Donny or Marie (whose lips are looking fabulous these days, by the way) or the fine folks in Branson. But seriously eHarmony – that’s what your big ol’ computer surmised from my profile? That I was looking for a road trip to the heartland in a kitted out Winnebago?
I exaggerate, of course, and to be honest it’s probably not eHarmony’s fault. I’m sure the computer did its best with the information I provided. Here I am, with (according to a friend) a “facility for writing” and I can’t string three words together that describe my wondrousness. My profile is flatter than a stale matzoh cracker.
Wouldn’t we be better able to rally to the cause of love if profile writing was a group project? I’ve been thinking that it’s not an altogether bad idea for friends to form Profile Writing Groups. Imagine…a few good friends, a little wine, a couple of laptops and a few hours later one great online profile. Now that’s my idea of fun.
Of course, meeting a total stranger for coffee might be fun, too. And, believe it or not, despite painting myself a tepid beige, it looks like that’s what I might be doing this weekend. My palms are sweating at the very thought. But it’s good to know that I attract more than sweet, Winnebago owning retirees with a hankerin’ for a road trip.