On Saturday afternoon I sent a lighthearted text to a friend traveling on the other side of the world.
I watched towns washed away by walls of water. I checked my emails. And Facebook. And Twitter. I watched houses being swept into the ocean and mothers protecting their children.
I enjoyed a yoga practice and lunch with six fellow Yin teachers.
I talked to my mother.
I’m living my life.
I’m walking, breathing, laughing, sleeping, eating.
I am not the only one who feels disconnected. Guilty.
As soon as I sent the goofy text I wanted to take it back. I spent half of Saturday’s Yin practice wiping away tears and most of lunch staring out the window.
I am distracted. I feel impotent. I should be doing something else.
Californians take earthquakes personally. We’re waiting for our Big One and when it strikes somewhere else I’m certain I am not the only one who breathes a sigh of relief. That sounds horrible. I know it does. Especially when the scope of what has happened in Japan and what may still happen if their nuclear reactors remain unstable is beyond horrific.
My mom believes we’re in the End Times.
Maybe the very best we can do when so many others so far away are suffering so much is to remain engaged in our lives and connected to our friends and family. It doesn’t mean we’re selfish or uncaring. It keeps us strong. It doesn’t mean we lack compassion. We do the best we can. We give money, we donate clothes, we send healing energy and prayers.
We move forward.
Tomorrow begins a new teaching week. My intention will be to concentrate on work that is grounding – Mountains, Warriors, Down Dogs and deep Forward Folds. My intention is to keep the yoga settled and focused.
This morning an email arrived. My student’s parents were located. They are safe at an evacuation center.
We stay strong. We move forward.