Fate, Faith & Free Will Part I: Or Maybe I’ll Just Keep My Nose to the Grindstone

Tarot from Piedmont, n° 0 (Ël fòl / The fool]

Image via Wikipedia

On Thursday afternoon I stepped out of character for an hour and had my Tarot cards read by Susan Levitt.  Susan has written several books on the Tarot, astrology and Feng Shui. In the early 1980’s I attended her workshops at the now defunct Two Sisters Bookshop, across from Stanford Park Hotel. In fact, for a time I dabbled in card reading myself.  But I could never get past thinking, “Seriously.  You’re telling me that the card I pull from the deck is my destiny?”

The answer to that, of course, is, “No.”  Maybe a card reading can offer some counsel, or maybe act as a guide.  Maybe it can gently usher someone toward the right path.  But rather than predicting the future, perhaps a card reading simply offers an interesting look at current conditions and how conditions might change based on the choices we make.

I chose to talk to Susan because I wanted confirmation.  Reassurance.  Proof.  Oh, let’s face it.  I wanted answers.  In the end, I did not hear what I wanted to hear.  But I was given plenty to think about.

So today I’m asking myself:  what is the difference between believing in the power of a deck of cards and the power of what most folks call God?  Because I don’t know that I believe in cards, but I do believe that there is an Energy in the Universe that is bigger than me.  I have Faith.  I believe in pre-determined Fate. And I know there’s a strong chance I’ve screwed up what was meant to be my Fate with a little bit of errant Free Will.

Quite often I find myself wondering what life would have been like had I not gone to Ireland.  In 1994, the year I left for my decade long Odyssey, I was a sullen woman consumed by envy.  I wanted what everyone around me seemed to have:  Love and connection.  Success.  Family.  A home.  I believed if I moved away from what fed my envy, I would find the life I craved.

It didn’t quite work out that way.

Part Two:  Hanged Men, Magicians and Learning to Yield to the Situation (no, not THAT Situation!)

 

3 thoughts on “Fate, Faith & Free Will Part I: Or Maybe I’ll Just Keep My Nose to the Grindstone

  1. I firmly believe fate is in your own hands. When we come to a crossroads in our life we take stock, choose a path and move on.
    You path to Ireland may have been a happy one…perhaps it was your feelings within that prevented happiness…

    I don’t believe in tarot cards and I believe in God, but I also believe God only helps those who are willing to help themselves 🙂

    Cheers
    Pip

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    • I still don’t know what to believe. I recently re-read Karen Armstrong’s The Spiral Staircase. It’s an amazing memoir. She begins in a convent, loses her faith and then finds it again in the most unexpected way. I’m still struggling with what is real, what is myth – but at least I know there’s an energy around us bigger than you and me put together.

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  2. “But rather than predicting the future, perhaps a card reading simply offers an interesting look at current conditions and how conditions might change based on the choices we make…” – yes, O.K.

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