I took the easy way out. When I chose an art and education major during college in the 1970’s it was because the pre-law boys bullied me out of what I really wanted, which was to be a history major. And as a shiny new yoga student in the early 1980’s I returned to class again and again not because my dog was down with it but because I had a magnificent and unrequited crush on my teacher.
Over the years I have wondered what my life would be if I had pushed back and remained with history. For a time I believed I had strayed from my life’s calling and instead stumbled onto a short cut. Whatever path I was on was nothing more than a journey by default. It didn’t matter that my clearest voice was the one I used when making art. It didn’t matter that yoga added truth and wonder to my life. I didn’t belong in those worlds. I was a fraud.
For decades I skated on the surface. I managed. Falling through the ice would require too much courage. I was scared and I did not want to open myself to that level of vulnerability.
But, of course, the ice has cracked. It had to. And now I have plunged beneath the surface. In doing so I have taken my very first authentic breath.
I believe that, eventually, we are all asked to plunge beneath the surface. There are those who find resonance and comfort through art. There are those for whom communication and self-exploration can only happen when the talking stops. And there are those for whom re-discovering the language of movement happens through the structure and repose of asana practice.
Because I have been on a path that has led to this version of my mutable truth I believe I can hold space for others to discover their mutable truth, too.